Smile with the yankees

Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released

Jon is called into the doctor's office first. The doctor says, "Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes

Jon says, "I'd be half blind

"That's correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes

"I'd be completely blind." The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jon's way out he tells Dan the questions and answers

The doctor asks Dan, "What would happen if I cut off one of your ears

Dan says, "I'd be half blind

The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, "What would happen if I cut off both your ears

"I'd be completely blind

"Dan, how can you explain that you'd be blind?" asks the doctor

"Well," replies Dan, "my hat would fall over my eyes
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A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices

After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price

Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either